Setting The Scene
A few days ago, as I was doomscrolling on Facebook, an ad popped up for Skool. It seemed interesting enough, so I signed up and joined a couple of groups. One group has been pretty beneficial – it’s about healing and spiritual growth, which is where I’m at right now. So far, I have stayed pretty silent within the community.

This morning, as I was scrolling through the new comments, I came across a woman asking advice on how to stop chasing people. I couldn’t help myself not to answer, especially since she was going on about forgiveness, boundaries, seeking validation, and so on.

She blocked me.

What I said…
1) Stop chasing people.

2) The only person causing these issues is you.

3) Stop seeking validation, apologies, worth, recognition, etc, from people who have shown they don’t care about you. In fact, stop seeking these things in other people, period.

4) There is no such thing as being “too forgiving.” Forgiveness = freedom. If the person shows they don’t care about you, here’s what you do: forgive, let them go, move on. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t try to save the relationship. Don’t seek their apology. They don’t care.

5) It is not up to others to respect your boundaries. You set your boundaries; you respect them. You can warn people about the boundaries you have in place. You can let them know that they have crossed your boundaries. Do they have to respect and stick to them? No. Do you need to stay if they don’t respect and stick to your boundaries? No. Boundaries are about respecting yourself enough to know your limits. It’s on you to respect them – and to let go of those who cross them.

6) Nobody owes another person their time. Modern day society has taught us that we should expect things to happen instantly. Do we like it when people demand time from us? Not really, no. So, why do we demand time from others? Why do we expect people to reply to us instantly? Why do we feel like we are unworthy the moment we realise, “Hey! Tiffany hasn’t responded to my message I sent 30 seconds ago.” What a bitch, right? How dare she! How dare she have a life. How dare she have priorities over me. She always does this! Am I not important to her?

Can you see how the cycle begins?

7) Stop chasing people who don’t have time for you. Friendship should not be forced. If you feel like you are always reaching out to someone, but they never reach out to you – stop. If it’s making you feel like crap – stop. Real friendship, real connection, is something that should come naturally. You don’t need to force it. It shouldn’t make you feel like garbage.

8) Trust God – or whatever higher source you believe in. If someone is destined to be in your life, they will come – and they will stay, however long is intended for them to be there. When those people come into your life, it will be effortless. Yes, you might be alone for a while, but nothing is better than peace.

Closing Note
Having people in your life that don’t want to be there; wasting your time and energy on people who don’t care about you – it’s all bullshit! It is simply to feed your own ego. We use it so we can play victim. Step out of the victim mentality. Find freedom in the peace of solitude. Trust the process. Your people will come.